i am still here!!!

I have been without a computer for a couple of weeks, so i thought i'd check my emails while I am here at grandmas house! I can't believe how many concerned emails i had from people wondering if i am alright! Thank You for caring and for being concerned!!! No, I didn't lose the baby... we are both doing great! HE is finally moving and squirming like he should be! Yes, another little blue eyed boy (i am just guessing on the blue eyed part, but I am pretty sure i am right!) ;)  Emily was not so thrilled by the fact that he indeed had his boy parts all in tact, but I think she has come around to love him anyway!
Hopefully our computer will be up and running again in a day or so and I will share some pictures!

makes him happy.

The doc says to pull the bottle....
i just can't yet.
you try to take away his beloved "baba" and see what happens.
I have tried, but those baby blues get me everytime....
i cave.
i don't care if he is "too old" he is still my little bubba.

grateful today.

So today I had my routine 17 week checkup. I have been saying to Paul for a few days that i am getting worried cause i haven't felt much movement, if any at all. I just figured i just must be remembering wrong with my other kiddos. Well, i told my new doctor (i sooo miss my old one) about my concern and he just kinda blew it off as he went on telling me about his trips he just got back from. He is telling me this as he is trying to find a heartbeat...
i try to pretend i care about what he is yakking about, but really, i am noticing that he isn't picking up a heartbeat. This is my 5th time - i know what is normal and what isn't. I bluntly cut him off and asked, "why aren't we finding a heartbeat?" He shushed up for a what seemed like forever and kept trying and trying. He said, "There is no heartbeat. Have you felt any movement lately?" DUHHHH, i just told you that I haven't!!!! My heart began to pound out of my chest, i wanted to throw up. I was alone, paul had to work, i knew something was wrong, why didn't i bring him along?
 I asked him to try one more time and try more on my left side (cause that's where i used to feel the most movement) He tried again. He told me i needed to calm down cause my heartbeat was over powering. He took my pulse...told me to relax (yeah right.)
Just as we had both about given up, we both heard a little heartbeat.
I have never been so grateful to hear such a beautiful little noise.
  I have many friends who have miscarried and have had still born babies. My heart has always ached for each and everyone of them. I have always felt so blessed that this is one tragedy that i have never had to live through. Even though my heart broke for only a mere 6 minutes or so...it was enough time for me to feel a teensy bit of what it must have felt like for all my friends who have been through such a hard experience.
  I will NOT complain about having this 5th little one join our family ever again. I know it threw me off guard at first, but after almost losing  it today, and knowing how heartbroken i felt, i know it is meant to be.   today i am grateful.

grinch

I kinda felt a little like the Grinch this year. I had great intentions to craft, bake, clean....nope. I was lazy, and tired and pretty much did nothing but gain about 25 pounds! I guess I could pass it off as pregnancy weight, but that would be just plain lying!:) It was a fun, relaxing few weeks though! Anyway, it looks like santa came through once again this year! Emily is not a huge fan of the jolly man in red. When I tucked her into bed on Christmas Eve, she started shaking and crying!!! She said, "I really don't want that man to come into our house!" That little pumpkin kills me sometimes!

"Don't bug me mom, I am busy playing with emily's toys!"

(He had no interest in anything once the dolls and kitties came out!)

                                   A few new additions the family!
                                 Sam makes sure they feel very welcome by      smothering them with slobbery kisses a million times a day!

the BIG day!

Well, the day finally came...dance performance night! Emily has been so excited about this moment for 3 years! What could make it any better? Dancing the same night with her big sister, of course!
It is nights like this that make me so happy they have eachother! good job curly girls! love you!!!

this is how HE rolls....

Just after we got home form running some errands in the rain, Emily wanted me to take a picture of her and Sam together. Sure why not, right? Well, Sam was busy doing his own thing.....really.

                                                         diggin' for gold

                                             checkin it out

                                        i  love that emily knew just to keep her lips shut!:)

 SICK!!!! need i say more????

my boy.

I haven't blogged about my little man in quite sometime. So, i thought tonight was the perfect night for some Zach bragging. I ADORE this boy of mine. He is the the kindest kid you will ever meet. He is always the first one to give up his things to avoid a temper tantrum from the younger ones. He cries a lot, but he tries to hide it... he thinks he need to be tough, but his heart is too tender. He loves wearing his baptism suit EVERY week to church (don't even try to convince him otherwise.) He is a follower of all the rules. Sometimes we tell him to loosen up and have fun - BE A BOY, GET INTO TROUBLE!!!!  He is the greatest magician in the whole third grade - he will show you trick after trick if he can get your attention long enough!  He  loves to sing the hymns in sacrament meeting  - he has such a cute voice! He hates his hair long - and by long, i mean a quarter of an inch - IT MUST BE BUZZED!   He is such a good big brother, sometimes I even catch him playing dolls with his sisters!  Oh, and best of all.... he is my little Cub Scout. :)